The Power of Connection: A Look at I Love You Rituals by Dr. Becky Bailey
In a world that often moves too fast, finding ways to slow down and intentionally connect with children is more important than ever. Dr. Becky Bailey’s I Love You Rituals offers a powerful framework for fostering deep, meaningful connections with children through simple yet impactful activities. These rituals are designed to build trust, emotional security, and resilience, all while strengthening the parent-child or teacher-child bond.
I Love You Rituals are interactive, playful moments that incorporate eye contact, touch, and affirming words to help children feel safe, valued, and loved. These activities foster emotional connection while also supporting brain development and emotional regulation. If you reflect on your relationships, you may find I Love You Rituals that you naturally partake in. If such rituals can make adults feel loved, supported, secure, and protected, imagine the profound impact they can have on a developing child.
Some examples of these rituals include singing songs together, using words of affirmation while getting ready for the day, and incorporating goodbye rituals like saying, "See you later, alligator!" followed by "In a while, crocodile!" Growing up, my mother and I had a good night ritual that consisted of me saying in Portuguese, "Bença, mãe," and her responding, "Bençãos." This translates to "Bless me, Mom" and "I bless you." I remember this ritual bringing me comfort, allowing me to sleep soundly, knowing that I was loved and blessed by my mother.
Dr. Bailey emphasizes that these rituals can be practiced anywhere—at home, in the classroom, or even during transitions in daily routines. Whether through a gentle rhyme, a shared song, or a simple loving touch, these moments foster a sense of belonging and security. This strengthens the emotional bond between caregivers and children, promoting healthier attachment patterns. Such key attachments can contribute to healthier relationships in the child's future. Additionally, they help children learn to regulate their emotions by providing a secure and supportive environment (Cohen et al., 2004). Along with emotional regulation, rituals founded in love and affirmation can reduce stress and anxiety by offering predictability and safety (Perry, 2001).
Incorporating this technique does not require extra time, just a shift in focus. For example, you can start the day with a loving ritual to set a positive tone, use it during moments of transition, such as before school or bedtime, and educators can integrate them into classroom routines to build a sense of community. These rituals are powerful tools that will likely be remembered throughout the child's life. If you choose to incorporate "I Love You" rituals into your life, please share your experiences—I am truly certain it will be positive.
References
Cohen, J. A., & Mannarino, A. P. (2004). Treating trauma and traumatic grief in children and adolescents. Guilford Press
Ginsburg, K. R. (2007). The importance of play in promoting healthy child development and maintaining strong parent-child bonds. Pediatrics, 119(1), 182-191.
Perry, B. D. (2001). The neurobiology of children's early emotional development: The influence of attachment on the development of the brain. In M. H. Ziegler (Ed.), Neurobiology of the child: A guide for clinicians (pp. 19–38). Springer.
Novel: I Love You Rituals by Dr. Becky Bailey
https://www.amazon.com/Love-You-Rituals-Becky-Bailey/dp/0688161170
